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I’m almost 31

I got a new desk recently. The lap desk I got to replace my broken TableMate just wasn’t really working as intended. It was frustrating to constantly have to hold it there over my lap, I ended up sitting on the floor with it more often than not. It’s still good for when I have to use my laptop on the bed though.

I got this one, it was only £20, and it does the job. It didn’t have a cup holder built in so I got one. I was going to get a desk that Jodi recommended to me but the price had gone up to £80 by the time I got around to buying one.

I’m hoping that because it has metal parts, it won’t get broken in the next house move like my TableMate did.

The yucca plant is pretty sharp around the edges. It can give you papercut-like cuts when you touch it. So imagine my surprise when I spotted Charlie chomping down in it!

I had to check his mouth to see if there was any bleeding and he was definitely very unhappy about that. Then he came and took some heads off the pitcher plant. I don’t think it’s toxic but he still shouldn’t be swallowing a plant’s digestive juices and half-rotten bugs. As far as I can tell he didn’t touch the venus flytrap at all.

It was actually for a totally unrelated reason that I bought plant stands but they’re handy in the regard that there’s no room for cats to jump up on them and chow down on houseplants.

Charlie still goes and sits in the old corner the plants were in, vacantly staring and remembering there used to be something he likes in that corner.

He could do a 180 to find out where the plants are now but apparently that’s a bit beyond him.

Charlie has always been a bit special and dim, but my MIL reckons he was probably donked on the head by a passing car at some point as well.

He is very pure though. Bertie is generally a dickhead and Pickle can be nasty when she wants to, but Charlie is completely pure of heart.

I held a plastic tub by the inside and this unpleasant thing happened. 

I call my pyjamas “Jim-Jam Bonks” after this.

Will phoned the pain clinic and apparently they are still doing migraine Botox in lockdown this time, however I will need to have another Covid test. It was hideous last time.

In a twist of irony I may end up needing something called transsphenoidal surgery, which is basically the coronavirus test x100 as the instrument goes all the way up to poke me in the brain. So I literally couldn’t imagine anything more unpleasant than the Covid test and then God was like lol, try this.

Oddly I’ve been to other hospital departments who didn’t want a Covid test but I guess they’re run by different people.

On Saturday it’s my 31st birthday so we’re going to try and stream something very special. A beloved childhood game that is both hilarious and very spooky. We might not be able to get it to work but hopefully we will, because it’s been so long and I really miss it.

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