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Acting bucket list

It’s hard to get auditions for parts of any kind right now because nothing is filming, due to lockdown and everything. My jobs board on the agency site is sadly empty.

We don’t have live TV here because we can’t get Virgin, and there’s zero Freeview signal. Everyone here seems to have a satellite dish because of this, we could get Freesat but that involves asking for permission from the agency, who won’t want to do trivial work during lockdown. Apparently there should be a signal booster for Freeview in the attic but it looks like the last tenants took it.

Anyway, because of that, I’ve had a lot of time to catch up on Netflix (finally saw The Haunting of Hill House) and Shudder, which has me thinking about the kind of roles I’d love to have.

Acting bucket list:

  • Onryo/ vengeful ghost
    Rie Ino’s Sadako Yamamura and Takako Fuji’s Kayako Saeki inspired young me so much. The idea of being the woman in a film who makes people hesitate before they go down a hallway at night is honestly the bee’s knees for some reason.
  • Something with Kate Siegel and/or by Mike Flanagan
  • Something by James Wan
  • Something by Dick Wolf
  • A Shudder original
  • A Netflix original
  • A role that has me speak a foreign language on screen
  • Something filmed overseas
  • Anything by Dark Castle Entertainment
  • A voice-acting role

I’m sure I’ll think of more after publishing this because it’s sod’s law.

Something I’d love to do is actually make films although I’d have to really be someone significant in the industry, which seems unlikely since I just want to get lots of little side roles, which will probably have me sitting in my wheelchair at the back corner of the screen.

But if I were ever allowed to come up with my own projects:

Direction/ production wishlist:

  • A new Tomb Raider film
    I swear I would put so much effort into it. Patrick Wilson could also be a good Larson.
  • A new Resident Evil (unlikely as the rights are currently in use for another new project)
  • Dino Crisis
  • An ILLBLEED film adaptation, because seriously
  • I’d probably try and make faithful adaptations of most of my favourite games to be honest
  • A film based on these Reddit stories

“There’s something out there, so old, so skilled, so clever & cunning, not just a being but a species, that has or have developed a specialized survival skill: luring & preying on lost or solitary humans.

Can a predator in the natural world lure, trap, summon or even hypnotize their prey? A quick google search should yield you hundreds of examples of such species in the animal, fish, bird, and insect kingdoms.

What I submit, if exist such a species, old as man, who’s success depended on the successful hunting of humans, not only would it be very clever and good at it by now, but we’d have no record or memory of it in our history, just as no insect has probably ever survived an encounter with a trapdoor spider.

I submit their hunting approach is case by case. They’re lure different depending on their human prey’s age, strength and size, but what I submit is that our oldest natural predator, an undiscovered predator, is still opperating due to it’s skill of being able to read us like a book, hit us with lure (a lure I’ve distinctly recognized several times, particularly at night, just beyond the glow of the campfire) lead us into a trap, to never be seen or heard from again.”


I’m more passionate about entertaining than I like to let on. I did the whole after-school acting thing, did a lot of stage performances (I really don’t like being live on stage though. I prefer the stopping-and-starting of film and the ability to rectify mistakes). I did Video Production and Film Studies. Had to make a lot of films at college, which were of course garbage but I was about 16 and we had objectives to follow anyway.  I made one that was completely in sign language though and even though the plot wasn’t great I still feel like it was a good thing to do!
I guess I felt like all the different careers I was interested in could be accomplished in one life if I briefly took each of them on on-screen. Doing film at uni didn’t seem so reliable (parents were completely unsupportive anyway) so I did Game Development so I could get some sort of reliable computery job and at least have money coming in. And, you know, maybe make amazing games like the ones I grew up on. It’s where I met my husband, anyway.

I got ill and all ambitions of any kind were shelved, save for owning my own house and painting it and having animals.

But seeing that there are outlets for being a disabled actor, has kind of reignited the whole thing again. I probably won’t get to do any amazing stunts, and I will probably be relegated to doing a lot of sitting, at best on something other than a wheelchair, e.g. being a random behind a desk. I suppose I could be portrayed in a film as someone who stands and walks normally, if I was standing and moving about for brief shots at a time. There are plenty of healthy people to compete for such roles though.


So yeah. I’m an actress. I feel like everyone I know would laugh if I ever told them that though. It’s been at least 10 years since I performed in or made anything. But I am itching to perform and make things for the right people. Maybe it’s what I’m meant to do with my life after all.



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