We are somehow already in April again and it won’t be long until we are in the JJASON months. It has snowed three times today despite the fact it has been otherwise boiling hot. Might turn out that this is all a migraine dream because that really doesn’t sound right.
I got a letter saying I’m supposed to keep shielding, but I’m also oversaturated with appointments again right now. I had to have an emergency blood test because my eyeballs decided to swell up and go red. In the past couple of weeks my left eye lens (bearing in mind it’s a new lens every day) has been falling out of my eye pretty much daily so I think my left eyeball has been changing shape for a while. It’s all related to the pressure in my head and eyes but beyond having a blood test I probably won’t hear about it until I have a relevant appointment in about 2 weeks.
A nice thick egg.
Tall eyes A recent upcycling. Local cat comes to sit outside. Had some scaffolding outside because it turns out the people who built this development, like, 10 years ago, suddenly realised they never put some sort of fire-retardant insulation in. I am the luckiest Letti in the land to have x2 Grogu. Preach, random internet person. These fucking gnomes I swear to God. This is literally what I needed someone to do to my laptop. This outfit is called “Sagittarian dream” and it is not wrong. Stop teleporting yourself and others into the garage and then complaining about it. Migraine emoji. A very fancy outfit for handling chicks. Fetch in the front garden because clearly there is no other garden. Fishing over your horse. Parrot literally fell and died. Found a falcon in the garden as you do. Why don’t you sleep in your actual house. Award-winning actor Will Smith was not a very kind ghost. Crosses now break when they’ve been used in attempted hunts. Terrible jobs. We beat Devour so we unlocked this demon guy to play as.
I’m probably not going to watch Eurovision this year. Last year’s replacement show wasn’t that good. And as a whole it’s associated with someone I don’t want to think about. It’s the end of an era but it is what it is. Maybe I’ll reclaim it one day, but not right now.
I won’t name names yet but I may as well spill some beans. Basically we were randomly ditched by someone at the end of last year. There’s not much to it but the person just never spoke to us again.
I was doing a small Halloween thing before we went back into lockdown again. This person was apparently telling people about five days beforehand, that they weren’t coming to my thing, but were going to someone else’s instead. They told my sister (who they were meant to be giving a lift to), that they could drop her off here but they weren’t staying, because they were going to a different thing. My sister even rang me about it.
If this person had just been like, yo Letti I want to go to other people’s Halloweens from now on, I would’ve been like, ok. But instead they told me they were coming here while telling everyone else they weren’t. Which is just, why.
So obviously on the actual day the person finally said they weren’t coming. My sister for some reason was still relying on this person, so couldn’t come at all, and she still doesn’t have her own house keys as a result, because she left them here at Will’s birthday in September and was obviously going to pick them up at Halloween.
Anyway, after saying they weren’t coming, person never spoke to us again. If this wasn’t their way of ending our friendship, they would have carried on as normal. But they didn’t, they didn’t speak to us again, they didn’t say anything to me on my birthday, or at Christmas, or just anything again full stop.
So they very clearly did end our friendship by doing that, and I would be naïve as fuck if I didn’t think there wasn’t also a significance to doing it for Halloween, the most important time of the year for me and also my wedding anniversary. It was also going to be the last proper thing we hosted for Halloween, because as it is our anniversary Will wants it to be just us from now on, so yeah that got ruined too.
Why did they do it? I have no fucking idea but this person clearly hated me for a while. Guys at parties tell you stuff, you just kind of have to sit there and let it fall out of them. A guy I was drunkenly talking to about feelings was extremely fucking stunned that I had ever felt romantically about this person, because of the way they talk about me. Clearly this person was just really fucking ashamed of me all along and Halloween was how they finally ditched me. Maybe seeing me at Will’s birthday reminded them how much they couldn’t stand me. I would ask why they even came in the first place but this goes too deep into layers of social mind games I give no shits about.
I think there is still some stirring going on because someone asked me about what’s “going on between us” and my answer was, “literally nothing, we haven’t spoken since October.” but I doubt this person randomly wondered about relations between two other people without prompting.
So we probably aren’t going to see this person again and there’s really no point in asking me anything about it or constantly checking my website, I don’t have the answers you want, I’m the one who got ditched.
But at least lockdown has made me realise that there are people who value me, there are people who like to laugh with me and talk to me. I never thought I’d venture much into online multiplayer games but now I have a small community of people who like to play them with me. We have in-jokes and there aren’t any hidden layers to anything, it’s just fun.