Yo today I got some plants unexpectedly. My MIL took me out to Rosebourne for some shopping before another lockdown kicks in. Everything there is pretty expensive but I saw some cool stuff. They still have that arty cat lamp I love and it is still hella money.
I’m sure I’ve mentioned many a time that I used to have a Venus flytrap named Sadako and she died. Well, lo and behold, at the shop they had some, and also little pitcher plants, which I’ve wanted one of for ages, so I brought them home. I’m not sure what or if I should name them, I haven’t named all my other plants. I am an inconsistent plant namer.
Someone gave this cool teapot to my MIL the other day. I love a good animal teapot. My cat ones are all in storage though.
I’m still waiting to hear back about what to do about my trapped nerve dealy. I also can’t remember if I mentioned that the local mental health team did come to see me. It was the same one I had to go and see after I survived attempting suicide and they sure did want to keep circling back to that. I have another issue to look at as well that may have been the reason for weight gain, migraines, and a whole bunch of stuff, and may need surgery as well, but it will take time to get tested because everything is shutting down again. I need to get new migraine injections already and of course they can’t do them in lockdown.
I felt myself fall out of love with somebody the other day (not my husband, don’t worry). It’s not a very nice feeling to have about anybody.
There just comes a point where I can’t love who somebody is anymore. Something finally clicks and I feel it drain out of me.
I just want to be happy and have a good time. I never go into anything wanting to have a bad time. Who would? I just want to laugh with people and make memories and have fun. Some people are so determined to add some unhappiness that there comes a point where you can’t keep ignoring it anymore.
I’m so clear that I don’t like cloak and dagger. I just want to have a nice time. And sometimes it turns out that having a nice time means being less involved with people I thought I’d always want to be closer to. I don’t have the love to give anymore, after this time.
At least with a new lockdown I can curl up and not speak to anybody for a while. This birthday isn’t a milestone one so it’s really not a big deal to just hide in my house and stop reading messages.