I am relieved

A few months ago now, we found a hard lump in my breast. It was just very solid and out of keeping with what seems usual for me, and it didn’t hurt, although I did start getting some throbbing pain in the breast that I’m certain was just psychological.

I’ve been extremely stressed about it. Even long-term ill people, used to being ill every day of our lives, do not want to touch cancer with a barge pole. Cancer treatments are terrifying, from chemotherapy to radiotherapy leaving burns on the skin, it’s an all around nightmare, and after everything you endure you might not even live anyway! I was absolutely terrified of having anything to do with it.

And thankfully I can say I don’t have to.

I went to the GP a while ago, she felt the lump and thought it was worth scanning, so referred me to the breast clinic. I was looked at there and, apparently, my breasts are just generally full of benign lumps! The doctor literally described me as “very lumpy.” I didn’t think my breasts felt particularly different to anyone else’s but apparently they are a bit.

The hard lump in question is just a weird ridge of tissue that has now been replicated symmetrically in the other breast, so it’s just normal stuff growing.

I’m surprised I didn’t flatten out like Spongebob on the bed, I decompressed so much. She did take some images of a node in my armpit but I’m guessing it’s also nothing because she said I don’t need to come back. I said “Not to be rude but I hope I never see you again!”

I just need to have a little gush about how relieved I am.

The only medical stuff I have coming up now are a mental health thing that needs dealing with, and a nerve-conduction study, which sounds terrifying but will hopefully sort out my issue.

Because of the specific areas in my hand that are losing function, my GP reckons it’s probably my ulnar nerve being trapped or injured. So it’s a really minor thing that causes something so spooky, but it could lead to muscle wasting in the hand if not treated so I have to go to Salisbury and be looked at.

I’m guessing she’s right on the money because the blue part in the picture is exactly where I’m having the problem. Although I would say the whole ring finger feels weird and not just half of it?

It’s impacted me quite a lot because trying to do perfectly normal things with my first 3 fingers results in a horrible burny feeling and my hand giving up, just because of the last 2.

But yeah I just wanted to say I’m really glad that my appointment went ok.

And I’m especially glad I didn’t need a mammogram, they literally crush your breasts between two plates to get images!

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