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My husband is now a Big Adult™️

My husband had his 30th birthday last weekend! He is now undeniably a Big Adult and not a Young Adult. Neither of us are in our 20s anymore and it feels a bit weird.


I wanted to plan something really big for this all year, e.g. booking an activity and going somewhere as a group, but of course the pandemic happened and nothing was possible. So we just decided to have a few people over as a surprise to Will. 

I expected most people not to RSVP and say “Are you mad?” but a lot more people than I expected were happy to come. And even people that didn’t RSVP at all turned up and I was like, oh shit. But everyone was healthy so after a while I took my mask off and socialised relatively normally. I say normally, it turns out I’ve actually forgotten how to talk to people! I was never very good at it anyway but I haven’t seen anyone outside my household (aside from strangers in the supermarket) since February, and I had nothing to tell anybody!


It was so nice seeing Kadek again after at least 7 months. We didn’t know what to talk about with each other but I’ve decompressed a bit just from having seen her.

Bertie was weirdly spooked about Ben and didn’t seem to remember him! He hid on this shelf.
I could only think of that Simpsons episode when we were building the BBQ. It took us about 2½ hours to put it together.
Bertie “helped” us by sitting in every available part of the barbecue.

Bertie decided that the eve of Will’s birthday was the best time for a successful escape! I’ve probably said before that they used to be outdoor cats, but they didn’t live at the last house long enough to start going out there, and here they might not go out at all because we’re near a main road. Bertie goes out on his harness sometimes, but this isn’t quite enough for him and he makes regular escape attempts, usually by sliding through a tiny crack in the back door as you’re opening it for the dogs!

Well that night, we’d put the BBQ box in the garden to make room while we built it, and it occurred to me that Will might look out of our bedroom window and see the box! So Will’s mum went out to move it, and Bertie, who wasn’t even downstairs as she started opening the door, shot out in the blink of an eye.

We couldn’t get him back in, and since I was up cleaning for a while anyway, I went out a couple of times with the box of cat treats to try and get him back. I could hear where he was because he has one of Freya’s dog bells on (because he’s a dickhead) and it was dead silent outside, and it turned out he was in a bush he was fond of. I couldn’t get to him though, and while he did jingle every time I shook the treat box, he knew that if he came to me I’d take him in, so he stayed in that bush jingling like the world’s rudest jester, and every other nearby cat came over for treats instead. I also got to spot some snails and interesting stripy slugs. Was a bit worried I’d be murdered though! It’s hella spooky when the street lights go out.

It was about 4am when I dejectedly came in, sat on the sofa and started typing on the Messenger chat for the house that I knew where he was but I couldn’t get him. I glanced over. He was sat in the fucking doorway! After all that he’d followed me up the path anyway!

Obviously I shut the door sharpish and shortly retired to bed.

I think Will’s birthday itself went well for the most part, although it did get a bit out of hand later on with lots of drunk men being way too loud and not listening about turning things down/ putting clothes on/ not bothering the entire neighbourhood. Someone took the kitchen lampshade down off the ceiling for some reason. Ben legitimately tried taking my top off and I had to elbow him in the dick to get him to stop.

Will was very ill the next day because he drank too much; last time this happened he was like “Letti, don’t let me drink this much, make me drink water when I get like that.” Well, I tried, but he wasn’t having any of it so unfortunately got ill again.

But even though it got a bit chaotic, I’m glad my husband, the centre of my universe, had the best possible birthday in our current times.

Ben slept in our room so there was some hilarity perhaps best explained with this image ?

I have been super knackered since cleaning before the event. As well as being generally tired I’ve been having a lot of fatigue attacks where I quite literally start falling asleep whether my body is ready for it or not. It’s really odd trying to explain what’s happening as I’m rushing towards bed and my mouth doesn’t want to make sensible shapes. But yeah, I truly exhausted myself and spent most of this week in bed.

We need to start streaming again because we skipped a week after Will’s birthday, but I’m not sure I’ll want to sit up for so long! We’ll see how it goes. I hate times like this because I get absolutely fuck-all done with my life.

I expect Twitch has deleted previous Videos-On-Demand of these streams but here’s a clip of the bear doing the spooky thing, and one of some static people, and the Reddit thread I was talking about.

I need to repeat that, Like your life depends on it: Do not believe things, especially ‘out of place’ ‘people’, voices, or suspicious things that you see, even with your own eyes, especially when your gut & instincts are warning you.

There’s something out there, something that scares grown men even like me, something we won’t talk about but it’s real, has no consistent form, and it lures you.

If you are a wild thing & a hunter of human beings, there’s no better hunting ground than our busiest national & state parks. Note I said busisest. If you are a hunter of opportunity, then there’s no better prey than the young, the weak, the old, the alone.

There’s something out there, so old, so skilled, so clever & cunning, not just a being but a species, that has or have developed a specialized survival skill: luring & preying on lost or solitary humans.

Can a predator in the natural world lure, trap, summon or even hypnotize their prey? A quick google search should yield you hundreds of examples of such species in the animal, fish, bird, and insect kingdoms.

What I submit, if exist such a species, old as man, who’s success depended on the successful hunting of humans, not only would it be very clever and good at it by now, but we’d have no record or memory of it in our history, just as no insect has probably ever survived an encounter with a trapdoor spider.

I’m very intrigued by this concept and I’d love to make a film about it. Something that I instantly thought about when I first read that thread was something Kadek and me call “predator feeling,” the feeling of your stomach dropping out way below your body because something is suddenly, dangerously wrong.

A few real humans have given me Predator Feeling, but most of the time it has come from absolutely nowhere. E.g. at the last house I was alone in the garden at night, having a cigarette and talking to Kadek over the phone. Perfectly comfortable. Suddenly, out of nowhere, predator feeling. My body wouldn’t let me keep sitting there and I rushed in and locked the door. I was also compelled to go around and shut all the curtains, and I had absolutely no idea why I did it. Was my gut picking up on some ancient danger, or am I just mad?!


Anyway, the downside of having improved our stream audio with Will’s headset microphone, is that there’s now so much more clarity when I’m screaming about something.



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