Eurovision 2017

Short version: Portugal sucks.

Long version: We had a good time.

As you should know by know, I live for the Eurovision Song Contest. It should be a national holiday. It is one of the two most important events of the year, second only to Halloween. And my closest friends understand the significance of BOTH of these occasions! What are the chances!
So we went to Kadek’s yearly Eurovision pary.

I couldn’t do my usual thing of representing Russia with a Cyrillic top and some pyjama bottoms, because Russia couldn’t actually be in the contest this year. So I went with Israel because I knew I at least had blue pyjama shorts and a cami. Also I then had a reason to bring Soufganiyot. I couldn’t really think of what else to bring aside from that so I just settled for putting Hebrew and Cyrillic labels on my crisps.

The yearly bunting. Also the top of Dan’s head.

The amazing spread.

Those shorts are great.

I was snug as a bug thanks to Faff setting up my sleeping mat.

Remember the cat patch I got for my birthday back in November? It has finally been ironed onto my bag thanks to Kadek :3

It was Portugal who won the contest in the end, surely the most underwhelming winner of all time. The guy himself didn’t even look like he wanted to be there. On the other hand, it’s not a politically-stressful win (like the time the Swedish homophobe got the win just to spite Russia’s contestant who was actually really great, and the time the Ukrainian who broke a lot of rules, performed a song lamenting Nazi forces being kicked out of Crimea, and who has spent the spring performing at white supremacist festivals, got the win, because fuck Russia at all times). We got to have a great night together and we had fun. I just wish it had been a bit more sparkly and exuberant in true Eurovision fashion.

Here are more of the songs for your listening pleasure:

My personal favourite:


Other notables:

The singer is my type but this is also a strange song, the stage performance featured a man with a horse head, and I don’t know what “thorn jeans” are. That woman is 27, the same age as me, but her life and body have gone in a much better direction than mine.

Thorn jeans??

This singer is very visually Armenian, I can see the likeness of Lousineh Gevorkyan in her eyes particularly.

Not as good as Hovi Star last year though.

This one is a bit mad for reasons which should be very apparent.

This was the return of Sunstroke Project, the band featuring Epic Sax Guy, sadly this was a bit of a flop (not helped by their flappy leg dance), I much preferred their older song with Olia Tira, from 2010.

For the first time, I think the UK’s song this year was actually great!


Underrated songs that didn’t make it through the semi-finals:

I honestly like everything about this.

There’s even a picture of him WITH LOREEN.

I wish I had as many tattoos as Svala.

I really liked these guys’ style.

Songs that didn’t make it to the contest:

Ukraine forbade entry to the Russian contestant, so this performance didn’t happen.(I could rant about that, but I won’t).

Loreen (Lorine Talhaoui) entered Melodifestivalen again, as I really hoped she would, but SOMEHOW she didn’t win and instead Sweden sent that Robin man. I mean really what the hell.
I would have lost my motherfucking shit if Loreen performed at Eurovision again, nevermind if she won the damn thing again!

She’s my favouriteeeeee.

Other things of note: Lithuania’s song included the line “There’s no time for your illusions” which of course made me piss my pants (metaphorically)

Australia’s singer got a high note wrong in the semi-final in a way which really tickled me. Croatia’s song alarmed me with his dual portrayals of himself, but the music video version features a very Northern Inuity-looking puppy. Ukraine’s song was OK, but the stage performance featured a giant head with spotlights for eyes and I was genuinely quite frightened. Germany’s song had the same backing track as that Titanium song with Sia. Portugal sucks, did I mention that already?

I had a good time, I hope the Eurovision memes can keep me going until Halloween fills the void inside me. (I’ve already made an event page for Halloween but I’m keeping it to myself for a while so people don’t think I’m mad for thinking about it already).

I do hope things are a bit sparklier next year though ✨. I worry there might be an influx of boring ballads in an attempt to replicate the most recent winner. Hopefully not though. Let’s have some bangers.

In summary, I love my friends and we love Eurovision 🇪🇺

PS: I have had hiccups for most of the time typing this post and it’s driving me a bit mad now.

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