I don’t know what I’m doing

I don’t know why I’m writing this because I don’t really have anything to say. I feel like I should use my own website more, but since I’m not sharing the posts anymore (it’s not like I can tell my entire social media network I just tried to kill myself), I don’t expect anyone to find them and I’m just shouting into the void.

I managed to give another person their suicide note. It’s weird to take a person aside and be like “Yo I dun’ tried to kill myself recently and here’s what I felt about you when I thought I wouldn’t exist anymore.” But it’s a bit more of a weight off my shoulders.

I have a note left but I don’t think I’ll be able to give it to the person. Even if they wanted to come over, I’ve never been alone with them and it would be weird to ask. So I think it will just be a secret that burns a hole in my brain forever.

 

I recently tried making a card game. I suppose by “made” I mean that I looked up lists of interesting questions to ask people (either about themselves or about things you need to think about like, where would you hide a giraffe, what’s the opposite of a koala), arranged them on sheets of A4, printed and cut them out. The whole group answers the question and the best/ funniest/ most interesting answer gets voted on. Winner keeps the question card, person with the most cards at the end, wins the game. I’ve since thought of some more questions that might be fun, I might just hand-write them on some spare bits of card though because effort.

Anyway, one of the questions was about our favourite flags. I wound up making a collage of mine afterwards and it turns out there’s a common theme: moons!

Favourite flags
Left-right, top-bottom: Comoros, Seychelles, Khabarovsk Krai, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, South Carolina.
Flag poster federal subjects Russia
The many federal subjects of Russia. You can probably spot which of these I find visually appealing by now. Places of personal interest are Udmurtia, Kalmykia, Ingushetia, and Sakha (Yakutia). I’d like to see all the places on this poster, but it would be the longest and most expensive trip ever.

 

Here are some more pictures of things that don’t matter.

 

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Even the tarot knows.
2019 12 houses reading
12 Houses reading for 2019.
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Mental breakdown meal: Crisps and cheese in a bowl with chopsticks.
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I’ve been pulling this same face at everything.
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When I had my liver panel done I kept bleeding through the cotton and it was proper squicky.
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FUCKING EESH.
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I just want a simple life with ducks in my garden.
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This chicken looks exactly how you’d expect from its name.
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I don’t know if I should want to show people my pretend dinosaur park but I do anyway.
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Recent hair and also my face.
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All this shampoo and my curl pattern still isn’t totally right.
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Oy.
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A beautiful babe.
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And here’s a burn I got from a steam cleaner nozzle. I was spraying the bathroom sink with steam, and the pressure almost made something standing on the sink edge fall over. So I reached to grab it, and of course, the nozzle I was no longer holding, flopped down and got me.

I guess that’s it.

 

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